


Remember

by TheMsource



Category: Alternate Universe - Fandom, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Amnesia, Angst, Death, F/M, Heaven, Hell, Judgement, Love, One Shot, Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), Sad, Soul Bond, Soulmates, life - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 08:59:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17619416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMsource/pseuds/TheMsource
Summary: You didn’t want to be here. How had you gotten here anyways? Memories flash across your vision, memories you’ve never had.(renamed from Judgement-to many people were telling me the name was to common and off putting)





	Remember

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU fic, couldn't think of a current one where this would fit so consider it it's own thing.
> 
> TW: Be prepare for a lot of triggers.

“You’ve been busy huh?” The skeleton asked with a dark humor tinting his words. The white eyelights of his sockets grazing over your dust covered hands.

You didn’t want to be here. How had you gotten here anyways? Memories flash across your vision, memories you’ve never had.

You knew this monster, you were good friends with him. Late dinners at the resort, random trips to a bar. The puns and antics of his younger brother.

“So I’ve got a question for ya.” He glanced to a sunlit window and back towards you. The look in his eyes sent a hurtful thump to your chest. He shut his eyes as he spoke.

“Do you think that even the worst person can change…” Flashes of you with a blue woman and a lizard like person watching anime together. An anime you’ve never seen.

“That everyone can be a good person…” He raised his hands into the air in a casual shrug. More memories pounded into your skull, a taller skeleton teaching you to cook, a goat woman bandaging a scrapped knee.

“If they just try?” He cracked a socket open at you in observation. Your chest ached as you remembered late night puns, skeleton nuzzles, and bad food. Food you’ve never tasted.

You take a step forward and take a deep breath.

“How long?...How long have I been dead?” He opens both eyes to focus on you and laughs.

“Heh heh heh…alright.” He repockets his hands and for only a second you think he’ll answer you and then you remember, you don’t actually know him. You’re not actually friends. The memories he’s been putting into you aren’t real, he won’t answer a thing. Why be honest with a stranger?

“Well, here’s a better question.” Anxiety floods you as his casual tone deepens…becomes almost a growl. 

“Do you wanna have a bad time?” His eyelights have extinguished and the friendly façade is gone. The true monster that he is, is on full display. Then just as quickly his eyelights return and his voice is back to lazy…almost amused as he shrugs.

“Cause if you take another step forward…” His voice suddenly becomes somber almost sad.

“You are REALLY not going to like what happens next.” You don’t want to be here, you want to run. If you could you’d go back, but you can’t. Your life is over…you can’t go back to living. So many memories of friendships with monsters you don’t know flood you with warmth, you want to accept them, drown in them. But they’re not real, they’re there to compensate. Compensate for the life you could have…should have lived. A life of love and acceptance, not the lonely and spiteful one you had.

“I…don’t want to do this. I’m sorry.” You take a desperate step towards him, a coldness sweeping through you. 

“I want to go back.” He stares at you, his usual grin gone into a closed neutral and pitying look. He shrugs and his grin returns, his eyes closed as his tone goes back to aloof.

“Welp…sorry old lady.” False memories flash once more then quickly flood full of darkened figures. All bent over in tears and begging…begging for more time…asking for your redemption and mercy. They ask and plead for more time with you. The hurt and pain flood your very being as tears pour down your cheeks.

“This is why I never make promises.” His tone is quiet and reserved, his words almost a whisper. Promises, so many left undone, unfulfilled. You had begged on your death bed for a chance, the aged wrinkles on your face had flooded with tears as you had cried out for some sort of leniency, mercy from whatever power was out there. You brush the tears away from your youthful face and focus on the monster before you.

“It’s a beautiful day outside…” He whispers as light floods the hall brighter than it had been. Your soul flutters and fights against your chest. It can’t be time…not yet.

“Please…not yet!” You choke out the words, your voice straining to work. His grin deepens, his eyes watch you sadly as you plead for your existence. 

“Birds are singing…” He continues ignoring your words. This can’t be it, not yet! Your body tenses as dark thoughts flood your mind.

“Stop! Stop it!” He couldn’t do this to you! It wasn’t fair!

“Flowers are blooming…” His words gain in volume no longer comforting but aggressive.

“PLEASE NO!” He won’t listen, he won’t acknowledge your desperation. You can’t let him take you, not without a fight!

“On days like these kids like you…” His clothes levitate slightly as his eyes extinguish and one single cyan eye ringed with yellow comes into view. It shakes you to your core, every thought you’ve ever had floods you, every true memory burning into you. There’s too many, there’s too few.

“YOU CAN’T TAKE ME!” His grin becomes sadistic as if expecting you to say that, his eye sockets also show a degree of sadness under the cruelness he now displays. He extends his left arm out towards you summoning demonic hovering skulls behind him.

“Should be burning in hell.” His words pierce you sending a chill down to your very bones. It’s almost instinctual, you jump right as he fires at you and twist to avoid ghostly bones that would have otherwise impaled you. A dark laugh echoes in your mind at the minor victory, as your heart hammers wildly. He shrugs, the lazy humor gone and now replaced with annoyance and frustration.

“Huh. Always wondered why people never use their strongest attack first.” More bones and this time one nicks your ankle, a scream is ripped from your lungs as the cut burns and twists as if a hot poker had been shoved under your skin.

“TAKE ME BACK!” You yell hauling a fist blindly at him. He dodges easily, and rubs the back of his skull in mild humor.

“What? You think I’m just gonna stand there and take it?” Flashes of your life fly by, all the abuse and bullying you’d ever taken, all the hurt you’d ever willingly suffered. It hurts, all of it hurts! He gives you a look, and you know he knows what he’s doing to you. He knows the memories and emotions he’s bringing forward. More bones and this time the room flashes around you blinding you, another hit, this time to your shoulder. It feels like someone has stabbed you and you fall to one knee in agony.

“Our reports showed a massive anomaly in the timespace continuum.” Flashes of hobbies and passions you had enjoyed in life ease the pain slightly. He chuckles lightly before continuing.

“Timelines jumping left and right, stopping and starting.” You grit your teeth as thoughts and regrets rush like a waterfall. All your indecisiveness and reluctance gnawing at you in a way that sickens you. Starting and stopping, never finishing. Had you ever finished a thing you cared about in life? Ever finished a project or goal that would have made you feel happy? You just barely jumped in time to avoid another attack.

“Until suddenly, everything ends…” Your deathbed flickers in your vision briefly and you wail as desperation and hopelessness hit you. His tone has eased a bit but his grin twists into practically a sneer.

“Heh heh heh…That’s your fault, isn’t it?” His words taunt the feelings and memories you wanted to deny to the forefront of your mind. How you had planned it, how you had contemplated and then executed it. How you now regretted it.

“I…just didn’t want to die…the way they wanted me to.” You whisper. The look he gives you forces you to admit what you didn’t want to say outload. You just didn’t want to fight…fight to stay alive. And now that you actually wanted to try it was to late…no it wasn’t! You had to try! You strike and he dodges.

“You can’t understand how this feels.” He echoes your own words against you as you meekly dodge the blasters and jump onto a levitating platform. You had said those words to often, to much to those who had tried to reach out to you. To those who had only wanted to help, god how awful were you? He continues, drawing from deep inside your soul he reads you and speaks.

“Knowing that one day without any warning…it’s all going to be reset.” Every decision you made was ultimately meaningless, everyone’s was right? You live, eat and die…then are forgotten. You barely slid out of the way in time, the dark voice inside you yelling to warn you. No every decision mattered! You were going back and you were going to live! He pauses in his assault, his tone somber and comforting.

“Look. I gave up trying to go back a long time ago.” He gestures with a thumb to one of the brightly lit windows, his voice almost a whisper.

“and getting to the surface doesn’t really appeal anymore either…” His words were slow and drawn out. You could sense a type of understanding coming from him, a voice of knowledge and pity. He knew how you felt, he understood where you were coming from. You shook your head, no how could he? The dark voice whispers to you. How could he understand the great fear of death? He obviously wasn’t human, how could he relate at all?

“Cause…even if we do…” His laughed weakly.

“We’ll just end up right back here, without any memory of it. Right?” He looked at you, the question showing deep in his eyes was...familiar. Had you been here before? Had you died before? No, the voice whispers. How can a human die so many times over? You only got one life, reincarnation wasn’t a thing. Right? You swung and he dodged.

“To be blunt.” His tone picked up into his usual lazy and amused lit. 

“It makes it kind of hard to give it my all.” He laughed as he shrugged again. A sudden bone swinging out and hitting your knee making you cry out as the burn from the blow ached down to your ankle. His voice dropped as if speaking to himself, never once looking away from you.

“…Or is that just a poor excuse for being lazy?” If you weren’t in pain and dying you might have actually reached out to comfort him but the dark part of you spat in hatred at the thought. He was blocking the way, the way back to the world of the living. He was preventing you from having a life. Swung, dodged.

“Hell if I know.” He brushed it off as if he hadn’t said a thing. The sadness gone from his words.

“All I know is…seeing what comes next…” His words were ominous as he spoke, as if a warning.

“I can’t afford not to care anymore.” Your whole life you had been so protective of yourself, you had barely let others in, had barely cared. You dodged and slid as he flew you through a spiral of bones. This whole fight he’d been throwing your life in your face and making you cry out at the decisions and actions you’d taken. You couldn’t understand why, you didn’t want to. You just wanted to get passed him, go home. You swung and he barely dodged, he was getting tired. Weak, you darkly chuckled. Why was that so funny to you?

“Ugh…that being said…You really like swinging that thing around huh?” He gasped slightly dodging again. You were tired yourself but braced for another attack, slight confusion showing on your face as he only continued to speak.

“Listen, you didn’t answer me before but…” He pressed a skeletal hand to his chest as he tried to catch his breath, his posture resigned and tone careful.

“Somewhere in there. I can feel it.”

“There’s a glimmer of a good person inside of you.” Your breath hitched, every happy memory and tiny spark of joy you’d ever experienced flooding you with warmth…and guilt. His tone was hushed and quite, beseeching almost.

“The memory of someone who once wanted to do the right thing.” You had wanted a life completely different from what you had gotten, you had been filled with such hope and determination before the cruelty had ripped it from you. You covered your eyes trying to push back the tears, the inner voice yelling for you not to listen.

“Someone who, in another time, might have even been…a friend?” Friends and family, those you’d loved and hated, pushed away and had accepted. Those who had cried with you, laughed, even the false memories…they had never seemed so real til this moment. Good burgers, awful jokes, supportive friends. You gasped as your chest painfully twisted and made it slightly harder to breathe.

“C’mon buddy…do you remember me?” The false memories tightened their hold on you, making you scream in resistance. You had never gone camping with this monster, had never gone sleighing with him and his brother. The intensity grew, you could practically feel the snow between your fingers, smell the grass and the threat of rain around you. You could almost taste the ketchup smothered over your fries.

“Please if your listening…let’s forget all this ok?” You wanted to! God you wanted to so badly! But the voice roared in indignant rage, anger pulsing through you pushing back the warmth from the memories trying to take you. 

“Just lay down your weapon and…” You locked eyes with him, a desperateness and longing fighting within you against the voice of defiance. He turned his gaze from you briefly before looking back to you.

“Well my job will be a lot easier.” 

“All I want is to go back…” Your voice was hoarse from all the screaming, he watched you, his grin vanishing into a mask of pity again and sadness.

“Please…I’ll stop just…let me go home.” It felt like an eternity as the silence stretched, slowly he straightened back up and shoved his hands into his pockets. He continued to watch you as if contemplating for the briefest of seconds your words and pleading. Then, he smiled dully.

“Welp, it was worth a shot. Guess you like doing things the hard way huh?” You didn’t even register the blast from behind you, but somehow your body moved on its own avoiding it. It was like you were a puppet as your body numbly dodged and twisted through barge and barge of bones, striking out against him of its own accord. He dodged, his smile becoming a grimace.

“Sounds strange, but before all this I was secretly hoping we could be friends.” His words were laced with venom as he dodged another blow. His look was sharp and threatening but it felt like he wasn’t even looking at you. Like he was looking straight through you, the voice laughed maniacally. Why couldn’t you move so easily? It was almost painful trying to do an action your body wasn’t expecting.

“I always thought the anomaly was doing all this cause they were unhappy. And when they got what they wanted they would stop all this.” You felt a bitterness flood through you, an annoyance that wasn’t your own but that you relished in. You had never enjoyed this darker side of you, had always tried to keep it leashed. But it felt so good, so good just to stop feeling. His face looked desperate.

“And maybe all they needed was…I dunno. Some good food, some bad laughs, some nice friends.” A bone impaled your wrist sending an inhuman screech from your lips. The false memories trying in vain to grip your soul and flood you with warmth again, trying to ease the anger and ground you. Make you just…feel. He watched you fight internally, watched you deny the warmth and fight against the comfort offered to you. 

“But that’s ridiculous isn’t it?” You still struggled to remain numb as you looked at him, his gaze on a window, focused on something you couldn’t see. Slowly he looked back at you, a look of resignation on his features.

“Yeah, you’re the type of person who won’t EVER be happy.” He looked defeated as he said it, like he was tired and betrayed. What right did he have to feel that? You owed him nothing, he was keeping you here, from going back, manipulating you with false hopes and dreams. But why…even as the dark voice berated and cursed inside you why was there still a far more tinier voice trying to reach you? Wanting you to stop and just accept your fate, to let him win. You pushed it down.

“You’ll keep consuming timelines over and over until…” The same mistakes, the same decisions. Nothing changing, nothing getting better. Always coming back here.

“Well. Take it from me kid. Someday…you gotta learn to QUIT.” You didn’t want to.

“And that day’s TODAY.” Never! You refused to die! _Dodgeswingdogeswingdodgeswing!_ You had to stop to breath, your lungs burned. He was also tired looking at least, which gave you some sick satisfaction.

“Cause y’see…All this fighting is really tiring me out.” You laughed between gulps of air.

“And if you keep pushing me…Then I'll be forced to use my special attack.”

“Special attack?” You asked curiously forgetting for a moment you were fighting to live. He chuckled weakly.

“Yeah. My special attack. Sound familiar?” It did, a false memory trying to edge its way into you. You could feel how weak the attempt was though and pushed it away far easier than before. He was getting to tired to even manipulate you the voice whispered. 

“Well. Get ready. Cause after the next move, I'm going to use it. So if you don't wanna see it, now would be a good time to die.” You ground out your words.

“That’s why I’m fighting…I DON’T WANT TO!” 

“No one ever wants to.” His words were so quite you weren’t even sure he’d said anything. You tried to think about what he’d said but you were harshly slammed against a wall, any thought about his words ripped from you by pain.

“Well. Here goes nothing…Are you ready? Survive this, and I'll show you my special attack!” You couldn’t even think as he slammed you repeatedly against the wall, floor and ceiling. Your body burned and twisted, you could barely scream with how the air was slammed from your lungs. You couldn’t even question how he was doing this. Just as you thought you’d be slung around the hall forever you suddenly slowed, the slams becoming weaker till you finally dropped. You coughed blood from where you lay, the red liquid spraying against your face. You felt your body scream as it forcibly pushed it’s self over and up trying to stand. You looked though a slightly swollen eye at the skeleton who was hunched over gasping for breath.

“All right…that’s it…” You barely managed to support your body on your damaged legs, but held firmly to standing as he gasped. You were going home, you could do this.

“It's time for my special attack. Are you ready? Here goes nothing.” You stood numbly unable to even brace yourself as you waited. You both stared at each other trying to breath. Finally he chuckled around a cough, sending a very small shiver down your body. Why did that cough bother you? Why did it make you feel so anxious for him?

“Yep. That's right. It's literally nothing.” He shrugged absently. Nothing? A being this powerful and he had nothing? You searched his weak grin as he clutched his side with one arm. No, he had something you realized he just…didn’t want to use it. Why? 

“And its not gonna be anything, either. Heh heh heh. . . Ya get it?” You felt an endless pit of rage boiling inside you. All this and he wasn’t going to use it? Why now? After all the emotional torture and memories he had forced on you, now he wasn’t going to do a thing?

“Why!? You refuse to send me back! You force me to endure all this shit! And now…you won’t finish what YOU started…WHY!?” His grin vanished completely and he stared at you full of sadness and…was that regret? Why would he be feeling regret? He glanced down as he spoke.

“I know I can't beat you.” You felt your heart plummet, and the dark twisted voice inside you raged as the unexpected shock hit you. Disbelief marred your very being. If he was so sure of that why even do this? Any of this?

“One of your turns…You're just gonna kill me.” There was such resignation behind his peaceful tone. It almost felt as if…he’d given up…on you. Why were you feeling this? You just wanted to go home, to live, to try again. Why did it now feel so…wrong. He tried his best to stand fully, his back still slightly hunched from exhaustion. 

“So, uh. I've decided…It's not going to BE your turn, ever. I'm just gonna keep having MY turn until you give up. Even if it means we have to stand here until the end of time. Capiche?” His voice was light and forced to sound comical as if he was sharing a private joke. Was he serious? He was at the point he was just going to sit there? He sounded so hopeless…memories of crying in the dark, comforting skeletal arms, assurances of happiness, of a life well lived. These didn’t feel false…they were real.

“You…you saved me from the dark…didn’t you?” He looked shocked briefly and then looked away as if he couldn’t face you. Were you not supposed to know that?

“You'll get bored here. If you haven't gotten bored already, I mean. And then you'll finally quit. I know your type. You're, uh, very determined, aren't you? You'll never give up, even if there's, uh…Absolutely NO benefit to persevering whatsoever. If I can make that clear.” You weren’t even listening to him now, he was rambling, trying to distract you from your unanswered question. What was going on here, now that you thought about it. You had been covered in dust…why? You had the false memories that he kept putting into you, but they had felt so deceptively real.

“No matter what, you'll just keep going. Not out of any desire for good or evil…But just because you think you can. And because you "can"…You "have to."” He sounded so bitter, so angry. Why had you been in such complete darkness? Why didn’t he mention how long you’d been dead? Now that you thought about it, why had your ‘real’ memories felt so distant…and faded. The dark voice in you yelled and you felt that overwhelming hatred and defiance flood you. What did any of this matter!? You were going to live!

“But now, you've reached the end. There is nothing left for you now. So, uh, in my personal opinion…” He looked back at you with a smile, as if he found this ironic.

“The most "determined" thing you can do here? Is to, uh, completely give up.” It sounded like a plea, one last chance for you to stop what you were doing. The uncertainty in his words made your anger build, why was he acting so benevolent now? You were close to victory, to close to leaving this place…the door was right there you could see it. But now he was acting so hurt…and practically begging.

“And…” He yawned, his eyes slowly closing. “Do literally anything else.” He passed out, his body positioned in such a way his legs kept him supported. You struggled, what were you…memories of the park you liked, the sound of birds as you leisurely walked down the street, your favorite games, the few people you’d let love you in your life. It didn’t matter how guilty this skeleton made you feel. What emotions or memories he stirred in you. You wanted to go home, to that park, to those games, those people. You struck, he dodged.

“Heh, didja really think you would be able-“ his words cut off as you slammed a kick right into his ribs, the sound of snapping bone and a grunt of pain made his eyes go wide as blood spread across his shirt. You both locked eyes as you slowly lowered your leg, his hand gripping where you’d struck him. His face was now an open book of emotions, shock, sadness, pain, regret, and finally acceptance. 

“So…Guess that's it, huh?” He gasped weakly as he forced his smile. You felt sick as your heart skipped painfully. It hurt…watching him now in pain and dying. 

“I just wanted to go home.” You whispered. He shook his head slightly.

“You were home.” You blinked in confusion but he continued slowly moving from the path.

“Just…Don't say I didn't warn you.” He stopped by a pillar and leaned against it. Your heart lurched as he looked back over his shoulder at you.

“Well. I'm going to Grillby's.” He looked away coughing violently. What had you done? Why did it have to be this way at all? You wanted to look away, to close your eyes at the sight before you but you couldn’t bring yourself to.

“Papyrus, do you want anything?” Your heart stopped as your mind clouded. His brother cooking and cleaning, yelling at puns. Undyne running with Alphys on her shoulders in glee. A kiss so soft and gentle it had stirred your soul in a way that life had never done. Your eyes widened in fear; those memories were real, so desperately real. You tried to rush for him, reaching out in vain hope to stop what you had done.

“SANS!” You screamed as his body slowly disintegrated to nothing, erasing the being from existence. You fell to your knees, numbly staring at the pile of dust before you. You ran your hands through it watching in emptiness as it slowly slipped between your fingers. Why had you wanted to go back? Why did it matter so much? You sat there for ages just staring before finally pushing to your feet. There was nothing here now, it was over. The voice whispered. Slowly you walked to the golden door and hesitantly pushed it open, glancing back to Sans remains before pushing through.

You wanted to scream, it was dark, just endless darkness. You turned to go back and froze, the door was gone. A small cackling laugh drew your attention, a young boy was standing a few feet from you laughing. 

“What fun that was!” Your blood chilled.

“Greetings.” He said as his laughter died, a mischievous look in his eyes. This felt wrong and seeing this boy filled you with unimaginable dread.

“I am Chara.” That name. You cried out as flashes of pain and burning fire consumed you, fear and self-hatred searing your mind painfully.

“You’re the darkness!” You gasped trying to calm yourself but the burning sensation wouldn’t stop, the emotions wouldn’t cease. What was happening? He smiled and bowed slightly as if you had complemented him.

“Thank you. Y'know I wasn't aware I had a bond to you.” You couldn’t understand, couldn’t focus. Memories briefly flashed. You and Sans looking at the stars, brief mentions of caution, warnings of Chara, fear for you. What had you done? Then it dawned on you. You couldn’t go back, you’d never been able to. You hadn’t wanted to. The door hadn’t been a path back to life, it had been a door to emptiness. A door to Chara. 

“At first I was confused, then I realized a part of me had connected to you.” You turned to run only to be facing Chara again who tsked as he wagged a finger at you.

“Where are you going? You can’t leave, there’s no going back there. You’ve sealed your own fate.” The burning increased as he spoke sending you to your knees. You wanted to cry you wanted to STOP. You cried out for help.

But no one came.

“Didn’t think that would work again did you? Tell me what was it like, destroying the only refuge of happiness death offers? What was it like to kill heaven?” You felt your sins crawling on your back, a cold feeling of fear and nervousness eating away at you. He tilted his head curiously and smiled evilly.

“Your soul belongs to me now…welcome…to oblivion.” You screamed.

 

****

 

Sans traveled the mortal realm as was his job, judging and weighing souls as they died. He hated how boring it all was, nothing new ever happened. He stopped. A cry sounded from the neither, the place between where souls condemned would go. He shouldn’t have been able to hear a cry for help but his soul lurched. Without a thought he jumped and entered the darkness, there you were being tortured by Chara the damn brat.

You made his heart leap just looking at you, a human so soft and fragile looking being beaten and abused. Why were you here? Reading your soul he saw why, to corrupted to go to heaven, but you looked so innocent…and helpless. Thousands of years and he had never cared nor felt sympathy for a condemned soul, but here you were. He gripped Chara’s hand as he went to strike you, the brat sputtering in shock and sneering in anger.

“What are you doing here?” 

“I’m taking the human.” Chara yanked his hand free.

“This pathetic soul is mine!”

“Not anymore.” He said scooping you into his arms. The brat raged and tried to grab for you but in a blink you were both gone. Sans looked down on your unconscious form as he opened the golden door and closed it behind him. He frowned, he’d broken the rules. You didn’t belong here, didn’t deserve to be here. But his soul called out to yours just as yours had for him. He whispered gently to you to quell your shakes till they eventually subsided, you had even briefly woken to his words. 

The color of your eyes had sent a shiver of pleasure down his bones and mild disappointment as they vanished back beneath your tired lids. He resolved himself, you were his. You may not belong here but you belonged with him. He grimaced seeing a tiny taint on your heart, how long had you been in Chara’s presence? He brushed it aside, he would take care of you, you would find such happiness here it wouldn’t matter you had the taint in you. At least he hoped, he just knew he couldn’t leave you. 

The **first** time he worried, you had been sitting with him in the kitchen when suddenly you had tears pouring down your face. You were sad? He questioned you, slightly shocked at how the peaceful atmosphere here couldn’t be affecting you. You missed home. You missed the world. It hurt. He frowned knowing this had to be Chara’s influence, after all the brat hated being undermined in any sense. No doubt he was mad about his soul being taken. Sans held you, letting you cry it out as he nuzzled you reassuringly. 

The **second** time, you had been at Grillby’s with everyone laughing and joking. You had asked if there was more to this place. Everyone had gone silent, why had it mattered if there was more to explore? Weren’t you content, the feeling of completeness and satisfaction rolling over you in waves? Was Chara’s influence so strong heaven’s own laws weren’t applying to you? Was it because you didn’t belong here? The subject was dismissed casually and the rest of the night went smoothly. He ended up having to tell Alphys what exactly had happened. Your question bringing the guardian's attention to Sans. He hadn’t been yelled at so much in his life. 

It had taken an hour of convincing the god king and queen to let you stay, that he wasn’t a traitor. It had taken him telling them that he loved you, before even saying those words to you. He’d found his soul mate in a corrupted soul, how lucky was he? He took you out stargazing and held you, explaining everything there was to know to you about heaven and Chara. Explained his job, why he had saved you. And when you questioned why he had done so to begin with, why you were different…

 _“I love you.” He whispered. Your eyes widened and slowly you smiled as your heart fluttered in your chest._

_“I love you to.” Almost cautiously like he might break you he leaned down and pressed his malleable lips to your soft human ones. His heart leapt wildly, a feeling he couldn’t identify nearly floored him. He gripped you to stop from spinning, your face flushing from the same feeling and emotion he was currently experiencing. He had never felt this in his whole existence and he’d known then he’d never be able to live without it._

The **third** time, was the final time. You had forgotten where you were. You’d both been eating at the Hotland resort and had suddenly started screaming. Confused he’d jumped up to try and comfort you only for you to violently push him away. Then it clicked, you were screaming because of him…he scared you. His heart practically shattered as you turned and started screaming at the lava monster that had just served you. Your cries of wanting to go home rang out, your demands to know where you were shocked him. He pulled you to him trying to calm you…when you grabbed a butter knife and lashed out. 

He dodged…the lava monster didn’t. 

Horror and cold realization took him. You had just killed…you could no longer be there, it was now his job to deal with you. He was rooted to the floor as you sliced at another monster dusting them; you were trying to dust everyone around you in a fit of fear and desperation. He ran. He sat outside his house breathing heavily, not able to focus. His being cried out at the injustice and urged his soul to seek vengeance…but he loved you. You were his soul mate. His friends cried out for him, all the souls in heaven begged for his protection…and he couldn’t bring himself to act. 

He held Papyrus’s dust covered scarf close to him and he wept. He didn’t even know he could cry. Then a searing pain hit him, making him scream in agony as his tie to Asgore vanished. His powers weaned and the world around him twisted and flickered as if trying to remain in existence. He didn’t have a choice anymore. He went to the judgment hall, just in time to see you punch Toriel in the face, her muzzle slowly crumbling to dust. He knew what was happening now, the corruption and Chara’s influence had made you stronger than any being here. These pure beings of light and creation were nothing for selfish destruction. He grunted as his connection to Toriel vanished and his powers finally dwindled to a mere shadow of their former selfs. What had he done? Why had fate been so cruel to tie him to a twisted human such as you? Why couldn’t you have led a good life?

“You’ve been busy huh?” He drawled, the instinct though faint now pulled at him. He was still alive, he was still a judge. Every time you spoke his soul shattered a little more, you had no idea what you were doing. You had no memories to count on. Just watching you he could see the dark cloud of Chara’s influence enveloping you. He wanted to reach out to you, to tell you, but the judge in him wouldn’t let him. He tried to share his memories, his emotions, but Chara kept manipulating you and pushing them away from you. He begged and pleaded but nothing was working, please just stop. He needed you to stop. He couldn’t be himself, couldn’t talk to you unless you STOPPED.

He almost laughed, you thought you were dying. You had been dead a while now, had lived here with him for the equivalency of decades. There was no going back, of all the things Chara could have used she chose the selfish desire to fix everything. You had always been one to want to fix things. He was getting tired, tired of trying to fight himself to reach you, tired of seething with rage at the unfairness of it all. His heart leapt when you asked him about the dark, you had remembered something. He tried to think of ways to communicate the truth to you, but his soul’s very purpose fought him. He couldn’t answer, the judge was in charge. He wanted to hold you, wanted to beg you to realize what you had done.

He was so tired. Sadly he knew it was to late when he began slamming you against the hall, nausea twisting in him and fear. The judge wanted to use his special attack next. He gripped his chest and literally used every ounce of will to still the urge, to prevent the holy executioner in him from acting. It was costing him, he was falling asleep. He tried to focus on you, commit you to memory. Your hair, the way you stood, your voice, your eyes…god your eyes. It felt like only yesterday that’d he’d first seen them. His eyes closed and he dreamt of your first deathday with him, how excited you’d been to go out with him and everyone. God how’d you’d laughed when Undyne had accidentally dropped Alphys into the lake. It was the first time he’d wanted to kiss you. He shot awake barely dodging your fist and then grunted.

Time slowed as he glanced down to your foot lodged in his ribs. He inwardly yelled as you slowly stood, staring at him. Did you see it? He wondered. Could you see all the love he held for you, all the regret of time he’d never get to spend with you, all the anger for the brat that had stolen you. And then he sighed slightly, this was what he deserved for breaking the rules. What he had been destined for since he first came to being. Of course a reaper and judge couldn’t be happy, how dare he think he could redeem you and protect you from the corruption life had given you. 

“I just wanted to go home.” He wanted to laugh, wanted to shout at the gods you had killed for this whole thing.

“You were home.” He forced himself to say. That statement full of his agony and desperation.

“Just…Don't say I didn't warn you.” He pulled his slowly numbing body to the closest thing he could lean on. He wanted to hold you, to kiss you once more. He felt tears form in his eyes, and couldn’t muster the energy to fully face you. He glanced briefly back at you trying to muster his signature smile, you'd always said you'd loved it.

“Well. I'm going to Grillby's.” He looked away as a cough surged from the blood slowly filling his nonexistent lungs. He focused on the memories he shared with you, the first time he’d gotten you to enjoy a pun of his, the look in your eyes when he said he wanted you, the first time you made love, but more than anything he cherished when you had told him you loved him. He had been so lucky. But now, it was over. An eternity with you ripped from him do to a brat’s pettiness. He looked up and thought he could see his friends briefly, the memories of them reaching for him. An illusion of his dying mind, trying to quell any fear he might’ve felt. There was no fear though only regret. He reached for his brother.

“Papyrus, do you want anything?” Vaguely he heard you running to him, his senses dulling as his body slowly slackened. It was too late, it was too late for you to hold him, to love him. He only wanted to hold you once more. He numbly gripped his brother’s ghostly hand, the illusion offering scant comfort.

“SANS!” He laughed ironically; now you remembered him…at least he got to hear you say his name…one last time.

**Author's Note:**

> To clarify, reader has been dead a long time. And if the POVs of the characters seem confusing I want you to know that that's what I intended, reader is under amnesia due to Chara's influence inside her (which grows due to the corruption in her soul), and Sans just generally knows more than reader. Where he mentions the surface he's actually referring to his own personal heaven with reader, which no longer is possible but he can't outright say that. The judge also deems reader an anomaly because she's a corrupted soul in a pure place. Think of the judge as it's own entity sharing a body with sans. 
> 
> Deathday = Birthday equivalent 
> 
> Well hope you enjoyed my mess of a one shot!


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